Hello, there! I’m Christopher, which you should have known if you saw my cute little green logo. So, let me not distract you from the following post. I hope you like it! I’d love to hear your thoughts after you’re done reading it! Enjoy!
“Hi, my name is BubbleMan. BubbleMan is my name. Yes, my name it is. Yoda not is it. BubbleMan it is.”
For some reason, BubbleMan likes to talk to himself (or to his imaginary friend, BubblyMan, in the mirror). I don’t know why. Ask him, not me.
“BubbleMan is here for some crazy reason I can’t remember.”
Yeah, sometimes BubbleMan has trouble remembering what’s the difference between the color blue and the dog Blue.
But then he remembers right away.
“Right, I’m here to brush his teeth!”
Just because he’s a superhero doesn’t mean he has perfect teeth. There, now you know.
“Now, where did I put my toothbrush?”
After BubbleMan got out of bed and did his morning stuff, he sat on his bed and spent a little time with God.
“Because it’s important for my spiritual health!”
Just read your Bible, BubbleMan. I’m trying to tell a story.
“The story when Jesus gave the crowd of 5,000 twelve baskets of carrots and water bottles?”
Anyways, he ate a healthy breakfast . . .
“Because it’s important for my physical health!”
. . . consisting of a few carrots and a water bottle.
“I didn’t eat the water bottle, mind you!”
Yeah, I knew that.
Then he had to remember what he had to do for the day.
“Let’s see, call my cat. Hopefully she’s having a good vacation. I need to . . .”
Well, he soon finally gets down to business.
“. . . and after I put my hat on my head, I take it off. Then I need to suit up . . .”
Superheroes don’t like to wrinkle their suits when sleeping.
“Are you interrupting me?”
I’m just stating the facts!
“. . . and after I suit up, I need to find the cause of the unthankfulness stuff!
“Where do I start?”
Well, he was wise enough to look up his Bible commentary and read some passages related to giving thanks.
“Because it’s important for my spiritual health!”
I know that, BubbleMan! You already said that and I’m a Christian myself!
“You are? Fantastic!”
Yeah, I think you already knew that.
And as he was reading, he got a mysterious phone call.
“I have a mysterious phone call!”
No, you don’t know it’s mysterious yet.
“Oh. Then I have a phone call! Maybe it’s my cat! Wait, I already called her like two hours ago.
“Hello,” replied the phone.
“No, not the phone, the person on the phone!”
“What?” replied the phone.
“Sorry, my narrator keeps narrating my life.”
“Okay,” said the person ON the phone. “So, it’s BubbleMan, right?”
“Yes it is! And may this be Dr. Doctor?”
“Yes, it is!”
“Wow, how’s it going, fine Doc?”
“Pretty good. How about you, hero?”
“Pretty well myself. Wait . . . you’re the bad guy! Why are we chatting so friendly like this?”
“Oh, I don’t know! Fancy me calling you like that!”
“And fancy me having a phone at my ear . . . whatever that meant.”
“And good bye to you doc!”
And the two slammed the phones down.
“No, I didn’t slam! I just quickly brought it down to its resting place and it made a great, big noise!”
Yeah. Anyways, now BubbleMan had an idea who might be behind the mysterious grumblings around the fair town that isn’t so fair anymore.
“I have an idea . . .”
Yeah, I said that.
“Why did you have to take away my trademark sentence?”
No, your trademark sentence is “BubbleMan never pops!™”
“Not my fault!”
Anyways, BubbleMan suited up and started looking around for Dr. Doctor.
“Hello, miss who is wearing high heels and might be wearing a questionable dress but is wearing a top that does cover all that it’s supposed to and is wearing no ear rings but is wearing a necklace, do you know where Dr. Doctor is? Madam? Oh, I forgot to state that she has earbuds in her ears.”
At least he didn’t get to offend the lady.
“Hello, mister who is wearing dress shoes, dress pants, dress shirt, and dress whatnot, do you know where Dr. Doctor is? Mister? Oh, I forgot to state the fact that he’s sleeping.”
Too bad the man didn’t catch all the compliments.
“Hello, little kiddo with bushy blonde hair and forgot to wear a hat, do you know where Dr. Doctor is?”
“My parents told me never to talk to strangers! And you look like the weirdest person ever! I don’t wanna talk to one who almost looks like a bubble anyways!”
“Well, I don’t look like a bubble! My suit is sky blue!”
Well, he didn’t have much success.
When he got back to his hideout, he remembered that the search engine, Bumpy Wumpy, had a map. It was called Bumpy Wumpy Mappy.
“Maybe if I type in ‘Dr. Doctor,’ it can lead me to him!”
Sure enough, it did . . . to a place in . . .
“Kenya! That’s not possible!”
Then he remembered that Bumpy Wumpy is a joke website. It doesn’t give the right answers.
And he also remembered that he made the site himself.
“I tricked myself!”
So, he decided to run around the city looking for suspicious activity.
Well, as soon as he ran outside, he ran smack dab into a doctor.
“Actually it was more like a ‘bang crash!’”
Be quite; just play your role.
“So, who are you?” the superhero asked.
“Who are YOU?” the doctor asked.
“I am BubbleMan.”
“And I am Dr. Doctor!”
And then both shouted at the same time: “You are the one I’m looking for!”
Well, actually, the doctor shouted it first by like a few milliseconds.
“What have you done to this fair city?” the superhero asked.
“Nothing! It’s the city’s fault!”
“What do you mean?”
“I do not know. I’m just a doctor.”
“Well, Dr. Doctor, I know you had some part in it! Your track record is full of incidences like the ones that’s currently happening!”
“Well, the city issued that everyone get’s the turkey shot.”
“You don’t remember?”
“Now I remember! Many people who ate a turkey last year got sick to their stomach! And you were involved, but many didn’t know it!”
“No one did . . . except you. You couldn’t catch me. And you didn’t know my name until the July incident.”
“Don’t get me started on that one.”
“So, you might be able to guess what happened about the turkey shots,” the doctor said.
“Yes! You set up a little clinic and whoever got a shot over at your clinic is now grumpy!” the superhero exclaimed.
“Then what happened?”
“Well, if I told the story, it would sound like another cliché superhero story.”
“This story is meant for comedy purposes.”
“The real story,” the doctor started, “is that I snuck into the only doctor clinic in the town and replaced the stuff that goes into your body and such . . .”
“Vaccines. As a doctor, you should know this stuff. Besides, show me proof of you being a doctor!”
“Well, I knew I’d need it! Here’s my doctor’s degree!”
The superhero grabbed the sheet. “So you graduated from the University of . . . Dr. Doctor?!?”
“Clever of me, huh?”
“It’s not authentic, you know!”
“Never mind. Let me finish my story. So I replaced that thingy that goes into your body with my special chemical that makes you moody!”
“Wait, I got that vaccine, but I’m not grumpy at all! One person I know who’s grumpy is my narrator!”
“Well, that’s strange,” the doctor commented. “I wonder why. What did you have for breakfast?”
“A water bottle and a few carrots.”
“Oh no! Eating carrots in the morning breaks the spell! Wait, why did I just reveal that?”
“Ahh, so that was clever of me. See, narrator, I told you I needed to eat those carrots!”
I never said you didn’t need them. Go scroll above and see.
“Never mind; I just remembered.”
“I’m not happy!” the doctor yelled in disgust.
“You shouldn’t be.”
“Well, nice chatting!” the doctor said.
“Yeah! See you next time!” BubbleMan replied.
Hey, that’s not how it’s supposed to end!
“Sorry, narrator, it’s not.” BubbleMan said apologetically. “Hey, I knew I said it apologetically!”
Yeah, I know.
“Hey, Doc! Take this!” BubbleMan pulled out a bubble wand and started blowing bubbles at him.
“Hey, that smells funny! Well, take this!” And the doctor pulled out a bottle of medicine and started blowing bubbles at BubbleMan.
“Ah. That smells horrid!” BubbleMan winced.
Then the two of them threw the liquid at each other.
“Hey, you got my coat wet!” the doctor cried out.
“And you got my suit wet!” the superhero wailed.
“Wahhh!” cried the two.
“Wait, my coat is liquidproof.”
“And the same with my suit!”
So the two pulled out . . . twigs? A sword, eh, twigfight?
“Wahhh! Our twigs broke!”
He, he, he, he!
“It’s not funny!”
Then BubbleMan said, “You know what the Bible said?”
“Yep! ‘Jesus wept!’”
“The Bible says in Philippians 4:4, “Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again: Rejoice!”
“But, also,” said the doctor, “the Bible says in the same chapter, verse eighteen, ‘I have received full payment and even more; I am amply supplied, now that I have received from Epaphroditus the gifts you sent. They are a fragrant offering, an acceptable sacrifice pleasing to God.’”
“Why did you say all that?” BubbleMan wondered.
“You see, I have received a payment!”
“Well . . . I can steal all the bubblegum from the grocery store without being caught.”
“That’s the reason why this city is grumpy?”
“Well, yes. I know it’s not as clever as taking over Whit’s End or something like that, but the reward is sweet,” the doctor laughed with delight.
All I know is that it’s not gonna be so sweet in the end.
“Huh?” the doctor asked.
Anyways, BubbleMan pulled out . . .
“Anything wrong with ducks? They’re yellow, they have bills, they are funny, and . . .”
“AND I’M ALLERGIC TO THEM!!!”
“That’s the last thing I’d expect a doctor to say.”
So BubbleMan chased the doctor out of town . . . and out of state . . . and out of the country.
“At least I know some Spanish!” the doctor cried back.
So, the superhero got back to his town in lightning speed, using his special secret invention.
“That was the weirdest adventure I ever had. I can’t believe I had all that energy to run half way across the country!”
Yeah, I think Obama was probably watching you.
“But I remember the most violent adventure I had. You see . . .”
THE FOLLOWING CONTENT HAS BEEN CENSORED BY CHRISTOPHER 164, WHO WISHES NOT TO HAVE SUCH CONTENT ON HIS WEBSITE.
“. . . and I had nightmares that night.”
You had nightmares all because you accidentally cut yourself with a knife while chopping tomatoes?
APPARENTLY, THE CONTENT BLOCKED WASN’T AS BAD AS ORGINIALLY THOUGHT. I APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVIENIENCE.
Anyways, BubbleMan got on TV to tell them the cure to all the grumpy mess.
“Hello, this is Marco Romo, here with the news . . . I DID IT AGAIN!”
“Just get on with it,” said Mr. Producer.
“Anyways, I’m not supposed to say my name anymore.”
“That’s not true!” said Mr. Producer. “You just said that on air and I didn’t stop you, that’s all!”
“At least you all won’t step over me on your way to work.
“Welcome to LVN. I’m Ned Hortz. And with me is our special guest, BubbleMan.”
“Hello! I’m BubbleMan! ‘BubbleMan never pops!™’”
“Right. Anyways, the mayor contacted me on FootBook to tell me that you have some special news to tell us. What is it? Get over it before I get fired or before I go to bed.”
“Your bed is here?”
“Right over there. I nap while the reporters do the grunt work.”
“O . . . kay. Well, eat carrots for breakfast! If you do, then you won’t be grumpy anymore! And be on the look out for a doctor named Dr. Doctor, who wears a white coat and is allergic to ducks.”
“That sounds like my cousin.”
“Yeah. He called me from Mexico last night. I never know what’s up with him.”
“O . . . kay.”
“So I guess I better eat my carrots.”
“You better eat your carrots.”
“So, that’s it for tonight!” Ned concluded.
“No it isn’t!” said Mr. Producer.
Yep, eating carrots does yield better results.
“I’m so glad that you didn’t get picked for that film!” MimeForJesus said.
Uh . . . yeah.
“But I did get on a commercial!” Thesie responded.
That’s not a very good examples. How about this:
“Good afternoon! This is Donny Fwump here on GNN! Wow, those mistakes were so funny, right Mr. Producer?”
“Ha, ha, ha, ha! That was so funny! Maybe you should mess up every day!” the producer said, laughing so hard that he fell off his chair.
“Yeah,” Ned said with a huge smile, “that was a lot of fun!”
So, the moral of this story is to eat carrots in the morning, especially if you had a turkey shot.
No, the point of this story is to be thankful for life. Be thankful that you’re alive. Be thankful that God loves you. Look at this world with thankfulness. Look and see that God is good.
AND TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOUR SELF! Eat healthy meals! In fact, you might be able to get done all you need to get done today!
“Hello, Guitar With Arms! Why are you here?”
“I’m here to turn in all my assignments!”
“Okay . . . wait, all?”
“Yep! All! I had enough energy to finish high school and college today! Hopefully I can attend my graduation ceremony this afternoon! Tata! Need to write like 249 posts for my site!”
“Uh . . . bye. That was weird.”
Oh . . . what happened to Larry?
“Don’t bother me. I’m not a cannibal. I don’t eat carrots. I need to rest. In that way, I don’t have to be on Netflix anymore.”
Yeah, then he’d offend a certain mime if he ate carrots . . . but that mime ate carrots!!! It’s a crazy world we live in!
“BREAKING NEWS! This is Rob Palm reporting! I mean Ned Hortz. A certain villain escaped Mexico or something like that. Be on the look out! Huh, what’s that? Oh, he went to Canada. Never mind! We’re safe!” Then he whispered to himself, “Maybe he’s gonna see his cousin Jimmy Dunn Dunn Dunn!”
Hello again! I’m so happy you finished reading my post, and, boy, do I hope you liked it!
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